MEETING MEN

        By Margaret Kent

         Now that you're dressing in a friendly manner, it's time to start meeting men. Your ideal mate is scarcer than one in a hundred, and probably closer to one in a thousand, so you need to meet many men to find the man of your choice. You're ready to begin this initial step in your manhunt.

        TAKING THE INITIATIVE

        The man you are seeking can be yours, but only if you take the initiative. Unless you can find diamonds in the street and pearls in your chowder, don't expect the man of your dreams to appear on your doorstep without any effort on your part.

         Assume for a moment that you're considering becoming a gold prospector. You would formulate ideas as to what you need to carry out your mission: basic equipment, personal effort and energy, and, of course, a location where you're likely to find gold. No matter how ignorant you are about prospecting, you certainly wouldn't expect to find gold nuggets in your front yard, nor would you ever imagine that someone will ring your doorbell and say, "I understand that you are seeking gold. Here, I've brought you some."

         Finding a mate is similar to panning for gold. Both take effort! Society may have you convinced that there will be some magic moment in your future when you'll meet and marry your ideal prince, all by chance! You may believe that the only requirement on your part is patience, and that you should sit back and wait. With this philosophy, all that will happen to you is menopause and old age. Wake up! No man is going to knock at your door and ask, "Does a nice girl live here? I'd like to marry her."

         Men have little courage when it comes to women. This explains why Plain Jane, who take the initiative, is married and you are daydreaming.  

         Begin with Eye Contact

         One of the first steps in meeting a man is making eye contact. Eye contact is crucial in showing a man that you find him worth meeting. Still, while he may be very desirable, try not to state or gawk.


        Keep on Smiling


        Another first step in meeting a man is to smile. Your smile is one of your most attractive attributes. Smiling is special, and part of the whole process of saying hello. It's fun, it's easy to do, and, after all, smile don't wear out. So keep smiling.


        Have a Tourist Attitude


        Have you ever noticed that it's easy to meet people when you travel than it is when you're home? Acting like a tourist can help you overcome shyness and meet more interesting men. I have a friend who's travel buff. When she's away from home, she doesn't hesitate to approach any man for directions, general conversation, or guidance. She can ask a man for an explanation of his customs, his ideals, or his culture. When she's a foreigner in a foreign land, she is not influenced by her culture's illogical taboos.


        She isn't questing for marriage during her travels, so she feels at ease in her conversation. She treats every man as a book from which she can extract a unique story. This technique works so well that she meets incredibly desirable and available men -- men who seem unapproachable to the women in that country.


       At home, however, she was tongue-tired. She though about the ease with which she initiated conversations aboard, and decided that if her tourist personality loosened her tongue, she should be a "tourist" at home. Now she carries a camera and tries to look "touristy", which give her the license to approach anyone with any excuse. Men respond quite positively to her initiative.

         Saying Hello

         The first thing you must do is say hello to every man where you live, where you work, where you shop, where you conduct your business, and where you go for recreation. Greet every man are reasonably sure is not a danger to you.

         Many women cannot easily approach a man and say, "You look like an interesting person, and I would enjoy talking to you!" Society has taught us not to approach men we might like. We are pressured to respect social barriers and use "proper" channels to meet men, so we remain in our own social circles, with little chance of meeting new men.

         For some women, the most difficult phase of a relationship is the beginning, the initial creation of interest. You need some courage to create interest and initiate the contact. Go ahead--you can do it! Most  men will respond favorably to your friendliness and will start a conversation or give you the chance to begin one. The key is as simple as a smile and the word hello. (continue)