Sunday, September 30, 2012

DRESS FRIENDLY

       By Margaret Kent

       Many women dress properly for men when they're not paying attention to their clothing. When these women aren't focusing on their clothes, they wear cotton solid-color T-shirts and simple straight skirts or jeans. Men find these women sexy. All too often, women look like mannequins wrapped in lace or unnatural nightwear when they dress for a date.

       Select your wardrobe carefully, as it can be a real plus in attracting men. Your goal is to dress to attract a man for a long term relationship. Stir his sexual imagination about you. You're not satisfying his curiosity about your body with a see through blouse or a wet T-shirt. You're stirring his imagination by showing easy access to sexy body areas instead. The catchphrase is dress friendly. You can give him permission to touch you later.

              

FOR WHOM DO YOU DRESS?


        
        By Margaret Kent

        Answer this question honesty. For whom do you really dress? If your answer is "other women", then you aren't dressing in a way that appeals to men. If you dress  to impress other women, your clothes are working against you, not for you, in your quest for an ideal mate. Other women may indeed be impressed by the sophistication of the design, the creativity of the designer, or the money you spend in purchasing your outfit. The design factors don't impress most men, though.

       Fashion can enhance your appearance, but it's hard for most women to know which fashion have a positive effect on men. Chances are, you were taken shopping by your mother and waited on by a saleswoman. If you never had male input, you probably don't know what clothing appeals to men.

       If you dress for clients or business, then your business clothes probably emulate men's clothing. The major difference between your suites and a man's suits is that his have pants and your probably have skirts. If this is your situation, you need a separate social wardrobe.

                                     Margagret Kent

SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES

      

        By Susan Browing Pogany

        One false move and you're infected

       "I always though of myself as a clean person. I shower every day. My girlfriend was clean. In fact, she was beautiful. But she gave me gonorrhea. I couldn't believe it. Now I feel dirty, like I'm infested with bugs or something. "

       "I hadn't known Tim very long, but he was such a gorgeous guy, I let myself go. I thought about using some kind of protection, but what was I supposed to do - stop everything and order him to put on a condom? He probably would have gotten mad. I was on the Pill anyway. So it just seem easier to forget it. A month later, I had genital warts. It's been horrible."

        a young girl explains, "I could swear I never had any sign that I had a disease down there. No irritation, no pus - nothing! Then I started having this awful pain in my stomach. I tried to ignore it but it got so terrible I had to see a doctor. I was really sick. She said I had chlamydia, that I'd probably had it along time without knowing it. It infected me deep inside, and now I may never be able to have kids. I still can't believe this happen to me."


       MORE THAN TWENTY-FIVE DISEASES ARE SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED.

       Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) spread from one person to another during sexual intercourse or close body contact - contact involving the penis, vagina, rectum, or mouth. The Sexual Revolution has brought about an epidemic of STDs.

        STDs spread faster among teenagers than any other group. Any teen - rich, poor, black, white, city or country dweller - can get an STDs. STDs can make you very sick, can kill you, and can make you unable to have children. They can be transmitted to babies during childbirth, causing blindness, retardation, and death. Many teens with STDs have no ideas they are infected and, therefore, do not seek treatment. They continue, unknowingly, to spread these diseases.

        Some STDs can be treated and cured. Some cannot be cured. Some are developing a resistance to antibiotics. Some STDs cause sore in your genital area that give HIV/AIDS an easy entry point into your body.

         Every year, three million teenagers get an STD. If you are sexually active, there's a fifty - fifty chance you'll get an STD by age twenty-five.

         It is estimated that one out of four sexually active teenage girls has an STD. Women catch these diseases more easily than men due to body differences. During unprotected intercourse with an infected partner, women are twice as likely to catch some STDs, including chlamydia and gonorrhea.

         Because STDs are harder to detect in women, many women are unaware they are infected until their reproductive systems are so damaged that they can never have children.

         The younger the girl, the more susceptible she is to these infections. This may because the cervix (the opening to the uterus). is immature and because the girl has fewer protective. antibodies.

          There no way to know if your partner is free from infection. They may not be truthful with you, may be too embarrassed to tell you, or may have a disease and not know it. In fact, your partner could have two sexually transmitted diseases at the same time and not know it.

          The only sure way of protecting your self against STDs is to abstain from vaginal, anal, and oral sex. If condom with spermicides were used during every sexual intercourse by teenagers, they would provide fairly good protection, but it is a fact that many teens do not use condom consistently. The  following are a few of the most common STDs.

       Chlamydia

       Chlamydia is the number one STD in the US. Each year there are four million new cases - that's 11,000 new cases every day! The chlamydia microorganism can attack the reproductive systems of both men and women. Many victims have no symptoms and don't seek treatment. They continue to infect others.

       Every year one out of seven girls and one out of ten boys is infected with chlamydia.

       Chlamydia symptoms may include burning, itching, discharge from the vaginal or penis, burning urination, abdominal or lower back pain, fever, and pain and swelling in the  testicles. Seventy- five percent of women and 25 percent of men have no symptoms until this infection has caused serious complications.

        Chlamydia symptoms may include burning, itching, discharge from the vagina or penis, burning urination, abdominal or lower back pain, fever, and pain and swelling in the testicles. Seventy-five percent of women and 25 percent of men have no symptoms until this infection has caused serious complications.

        Chlamydia damages the reproductive systems of both young men and women and can cause sterility or infertility - the inability to have children in the future. Chlamydia can lead to infections of a girl's cervix and fallopian tubes (the tubes where sperm meet egg), causing, scarring, infertility, sterility.

        Chlamydia can lead to pelvic inflammatory disease (PID - discussed below), a serious and painful illness. Victims can end up with ongoing, long-term pelvic pain. PID can cause infertility and ectopic pregnancy.

       An ectopic pregnancy occurs when the fertilized egg implants someplace other than the uterus - usually a fallopian tube. The fertilized egg may begin developing in the tube. (This is called a tubal pregnancy.) If left untreated, the tube will burst. This can result in the woman's death. Chlamydia infection can be transmitted from mother to infant during birth, leading to eye infection and possible blindness, pneumonia, and ear infections.

      While using condoms with spermicides will help prevent the spread of chlamydia, a very high number of sexually active teens do not use condoms, even though they know they should. Therefore, they are at great risk of catching and spreading this disease. You can eliminate your risk by abstaining from sex.

       PID (pelvic inflammatory disease)

       PID (pelvic inflammatory disease) affects a million women per year. The highest rate of infection is among teenagers. It is caused by different microorganisms, including gonorrhea and chlamydia, and can infect a woman's uterus, ovaries, and fallopian tubes.

       Symptoms include abdominal pain and tenderness, nausea, vomiting, chills, fever, and vaginal discharge and bleeding. Some women have no symptoms, but damage still occurs. Sexually active girls are at risk for this disease, which can be extremely serious, even fatal.

       PID cause inflammation and scarring of the fallopian tubes, which may lead to an ectopic pregnancy. A bad PID infection can require hospitalization and can cause sterility within a few weeks.

       Even though PID can be cured with antibiotics, it may already have caused irreversible damage to a girl's reproductive system before she begins taking antibiotics.

       Because sexually active teens often forget to use condoms or are too embarrassed to use them, they are at risk of getting PID. Teens who do not have sex are less likely to get a PID infection.


       NGU (nongonococcal urethritis)

       NGU (nongonococcal urethritic) is usually associated with male symptoms, but the organisms (such as chlamydia) that cause NGU can easily be transmitted to women.

       Boys with NGU may experience burning and itching around the opening of the penis, burning urination, and discharge from the penis. If untreated NGU can lead to scarring of the urethra, causing problems with urination and ejaculation. Infection of the testicles can cause a boy to become sterile.


       HPV (human papilloma virus)

       Genital warts are caused by some types of types of HIV (human papilloma virus). Each year there are a million new cases of genital warts.

       Up to 90 percent of teens who have unprotected sex with an infected person will get HPV. It may take as long as eight months for the warts to develop. They appear as hard, wrinkled, cauliflower-shaped bumps on the inner thighs, genital or anal areas. They can multiply quickly. They are treated with laser surgery, chemicals, and liquid nitrogen, but there no real cure. The virus can lie dormant in the cells and cause recurrent flare-ups of warts.

       If an infant is exposed to HPV during birth, it is possible for the virus to lodge in the child's larynx, windpipe, and lungs, eventually causing serious breathing problems.

        Some types of HPV are link to cervical cancer in women. Cervical cancer kills thousands of women every year. Some experts say that girls who become sexually active before eighteen are more likely to develop cervical cancer from HPV than women who postpone sex. One study of college women found that one out of four women developed some form of HPV within a year of becoming sexually active.

        Generally, you can avoid HPV by avoiding skin-to-skin vaginal, anal, or oral sex. Condom use during intercourse is helpful, though not completely effective in preventing the transmission of HPV. The best way to keep from getting this disease is to abstain from sex.

        Gonorrhea 

        Gonorrhea is highly contagious. There may be as many as three-quarters of a million teenagers with gonorrhea. Ninety percent of women with gonorrhea don't know they have it and unknowingly pass it on to partner after partner. Twenty percent of male victims are unaware they are infected.

        Symptoms may include discharge from the penis or vagina, burning urination, and, in girls, cramps and abnormal periods. But there may be NO symptoms

        The gonorrhea bacterium can cause skin lesions, damage to the eyes, crippling arthritis, damage to the heart valves, and can result in stroke and heart failure. Gonorrhea can cause sterility in both sexes.

        In women, gonorrhea can result in pelvic in inflammatory disease. Each year, 100,000 women in the U.S. are made sterile by gonorrhea.

        In men, gonorrhea can cause scarring in the urethra, which carries urine and semen to the penis. Painful ejaculation and extremely painful urination can result; later it may become impossible for the infected person to urinate. Even when no symptoms are present, the prostate and testicles can become badly infected, and  sterility can result.

        Gonorrhea has been linked to cancer of the prostate in men. It can cause impotence (the inability to perform normal sexual sexual intercourse). It is estimated that having gonorrhea increases the possibility of catching AIDS from an infected person by as much as 100 times.

        The best way to avoid gonorrhea is to abstain from sexual activity. Condoms and spermicide will reduce the chance of spreading this disease, yet teens who know better often do not use protection.

        Syphilis

        Syphilis is call "a silent killer." It is caused by a highly contagious, spiral-shape bacterium that enters the body, usually during sexual intercourse. It can also be transmitted by kissing, so NEVER kiss anyone with a sore on their mouth!

        The first sign of syphilis is a painless blister, or chancre, on the genitals at the site of entry. This chancre may develop a month after sexual intercourse and usually disappears within a few weeks. The victim may be unaware of its existence.

       During the second stage of syphilis, there may or may not be symptoms. Symptoms might include a sore throat, fever, headache, or skin rash. The victim might not think much of these symptoms.

       During the early part of the third stage of syphilis causes heart disease, blindness, deafness, paralysis, insanity, and death.

       Treatment for syphilis requires antibiotics. Some victims, unaware of their infections, go untreated.

       Babies can be infected with syphilis during childbirth, resulting in blindness, brain damage, and death.

      Condoms and spermicides used consistently are good protection against syphilis. However, the surest way for teenagers to avoid syphilis is to abstain from sex.

       Herpes

       Genital herpes is an incurable STD. One out of every five Americans over age twelve has herpes. The more sexual partners you have, the more likely you are to catch it. Sexually active teens are at great risk.

        Once herpes enters your body, it never leaves. You have it for life.

         Herpes is spread through vaginal, anal, or oral sex.

         It is often said that an infected individual can transmit the disease to a partner only when there is an active outbreak of herpes sores present. This is not true. The disease can also be transmitted in the twenty-four hours before the sores erupt, and the infected individual may be unaware that an outbreak is about to occur. Herpes can also be spread by carries who have no idea they are infected.

        During an outbreak of herpes, the victim may experience inflamed skin, bumps or blisters in the genital area, pain, itching, burning, flu-like symptoms, swollen glands muscle aches, headache, infection of the urethra, and burning urination. On average, herpes victims experience four recurrences of recurrences of symptoms in a year. The virus may sometimes relocate to the buttocks.

       During those periods when the victim has no symptoms, the herpes virus can reside at the base of the skull or spine. Outbreaks may be triggered by vigorous sexual activity, diet, stress, illness, and menstruation.

       The use of condoms is not a guarantee of protection against herpes, because sores can be present in areas not covered by a condom.

       The presence of genital herpes sores makes it easier for HIV and other DTDs to find an entry point in the genital area.

        In pregnant women, herpes causes an increased risk of premature birth and miscarrage. Infants born to mothers with herpes may suffer skin blisters, brain and organ infections, mental retardation, birth defects, and death. More than half of these babies are born to mothers who do not realize that they are infected with herpes.

        Herpes affects its victims not only physically but also emotionally. Those infected may experience panic, fear, depression, and feelings of hopelessness and  worthlessness.

        Considering the fact that forty million Americans have this disease, the only way for teens to eliminate their risk of catch it is to abstain from sex. Because of embarrassment, teenagers who are infected with herpes are not likely to tell their potential partners. They may use poor judgment about selecting times they think are safe for sexual activity. If they misjudge, they infect their partners.

        Scabies and public lice

       Scabies and lice are small insects that can be passed from one person to the next during close contact. They are highly contagious and can cause intense itching.

       Public lice look like  microscopic crabs. They are bloodsuckers. Scabies burrow beneath human skin to lay eggs. Scratching these irritated area can lead to other infection.

         Shattered lives

        There are thirteen million new STD cases in the U.S.every year. But this is only a statistic. It cannot describe the physical pain or feelings of despair and depression that STD victim experience.

        Later in life, when STD victims marry and try to begin a family, some discover that they are infertile, unable to have children. The diagnosis of infertility can threaten the survival of their marriage. One partner may feel angry and betrayed by the other. Both feel cheated out of their natural right to reproduce and care for a family.

        A woman writes to columnist Ann Landers describing the result of the "casual attitude" she once had about sex:

        Dear Ann:

        I am a thirty-four-year-old married women who is trying to become pregnant, but it doesn't look promissing. All I have ever wanted in life was to be mother, but I don't know if I will ever be able to have a child because of my past.

        When I was in college, I became sexually active. I slept with more men than I care to admit....Somewhere in my wild days, I picked up an infection that left me infertile......It seems the scar tissue damaged the in side of my fallopian tubes ......I am now married to wonderful man who very much wants children, and the guide I feel is overwhelming ......I am writing this letter with the hope that I can save others the heartache that I am going through.

                                                                            - Suffering in St. Louis

        Fifteen to 30 percent of U.S.couples who can't have children were made infertile by STDs.

        Teens considering becoming sexual active should think very carefully about the risks of STDs - for themselves, for the baby that could result from an accident pregnancy, and for their future marriage. By abstaining from sexual activity, you can avoid the heartache of sexual transmitted disease.

                             

CAN TEEN SEX AFFECT YOUR LATER MARRIAGE

  
          By Susan Browing Pogany

          Partners who have had premarital sex are more than twice as likely to commit adultery (have sex with someone outside of their marriage) after they are married. As a result, their marriages are undermined by suspicions, lack of harmony, and by one partner's discovery of the other's lack of faithfulness.

         One effect of premarital sex is that later on, sex within marriage may seen less exciting. Partners may have relished the premarital thrill of getting away with something forbidden so much that they come to miss this excitement. Married sex may seem dull by comparison. This letdown may push partners to try to relive this thrill through adultery, Short explains. This puts their marriage at great risk.

        Couples who had sex before marriage are less likely to be satisfied with their married sex lives. One partner may compare the other's sexual abilities or responses with those of previous partners. Even though their marriage partner has normal responses and normal sexual skills, they may think longingly of the wildly erotic behavior of some previous lover and feel cheated and unhappy.

       Dating couples who can't hold off on sex may be blinded by it, writes Short. The intensity of the sex can fool them into thinking they're meant for each other. Only after they are married do they discover that the main thing holding them together was sex.

        Premarital sex can cause one or the other marriage partner to be sexually "inhibited" - unable to share and enjoy sex, one partner felt guilty about doing something wrong. Every time that partner premarital sex, it was associated with guilt and shame. Even after marriage, the partner continues to think of sex as something bad. Such as marriage partner just can't "let go" and enjoy sex as freely as they could have if sex had been postponed until marriage. It may take years to get over this bad feeling. Sex counselors say this is an extremely common problem and leads to less happy marriages.

       Sociologist Short believes that another reason premarital sex breaks up marriages is that it robs couples of the "sexual cement" that can hold them together. He explains that the first years of a marriage are the roughest period of adjustment for a young couple. This is when a marriage is most likely to break up. He says that the first year or two that a couple begin having sex is the most thrilling sexually. If this period of exciting sex occurs during the same year or so that they are going through the difficult early period of adjusting to marriage and each other, then good sex can cement their love and marriage. However, if they had a year or so of premarital sex, then "that precious bonding of sex that could have helped hold them together while they worked out their problems has been largely lost.

        Couples may be pushed into a bad marriage by guilt over sex. If two people think they are in love, and if they become engaged, they may decide that sex is finally okay, but only because they are doing it with the one they will marry. However, if either partner late feels there are good reasons for breaking off the engagement, they may feel obligated to go ahead and marry because they have shared the gift of their virginity.
 (One out of every three engaged couples breaks off the engagement before marrying, Short explains.)

        "My mon and dad waited until they married, and seeing how much they love each other now after all those years makes me want that for my marriage," says one eighteen-year-old.

        A young woman named Kristen says "that if both partners are virgins on their wedding night, "there will be an incredible feeling of trust and closeness like no other."

        She adds, "I am so sick of hearing all that crap about ' you need to know [ your partner ] in every aspect before you get married. ' well, if you want to know how your mate will be in bed, you can measure them by level of passion in their kiss and in the way they treat you."

       When it comes to sexual compatibility, almost any couple who love each other can achieve a happy sex life, writes Short. He states that the best sex is married sex.

       Having premarital sex to test your compatibility can spoil things. You're not shopping for a sex object. You're looking for a life time partner and best friend.

                                     

TEENS WITH ALL WRONG REASON ABOUT SEX

   
          By Susan Browing Pogany

          Many teens find the sexual experience unhappy because they realize they began having sex for all the wrong reasons. Here are some of them:


  • Curious - they want to experience or to get experience
  • They want to be cool or popular, or to impress their friends
  • As an escape from loneliness
  • As an escape from boredom
  • As an expression of rebellion or anger toward their parents
  • Because they think everyone is doing it
  • To keep a girlfriend or boyfriend who is pressuring them
  • Boy want to be macho, prove they're men
  • Some girls, too, want to show they're tough
  • As a means of communication
  • Trying to score with as many partners as possible
  • They want affection and intimacy
  • They're afraid their partner's feelings will be hurt if they say no
  • They think their partner will love them more
  • They want to prove they're mature
  • They want to get it over with
             Young people who have sex for these reasons can have an empty, sad experience and may feel ashamed later. 

                                     



WHAT IS COMMITMENT?

     
        By Susan Browing Pogany

        What is meant by the word "commitment" when we speak of love? It mean a promise of love and caring for another person. It means a promise that you will consistently "be there" for your partner as the two of you live through a future of difficulties and uncertainties. It means your partner can trust your commitment, and you can trust theirs"

       when you are a teenager you are just not for a commitment like this, even though you may wish for it very much. Teens who think that having sex will result in a serious commitment may be sadly disappointed.

       Why aren't teenagers ready for such commitment? A big reason is that as a young person, you are still figuring out who you are. This is your time to experiment with different personalities and behaviors, seek friendships with different kinds of people, try out new ideas, goals, and loyalties. Slowly you will discover what you value, what you believe in, and what you hope to accomplish with your life. These discoveries become part of your self-identity. It's a long process and an important part of maturing.

       Until both you and your partner have a more definite self-identity, it isn't possible to form truly intimate, committed relationships. The reason for this is because the "self" that you and your partner are presenting to one another is changing too much from week to week, month to month.

      If you hold off on sex, you'll find that each new love relationship can be a health step in your search for self-identity. Both you and your partner can grow and learn from the experience. When the relationship breaks up, even though one or both of you may be very sad, both of you will have a clearer idea of what you're looking for in the next partner. You can think of each relationship as a practice or rehearsal for the one that follow as you continue your search over many years for the one relationship that will last.

                

DRESSING FOR SEXSESS

  
       By Margaret Kent

       When you go to meet men, do you go as is? Or do you take a shower, fix your hair, put on makeup, and dress in a way you think will enhance your appeal? If so, you're using your looks to mainipulate men.

        Don't let the power of clothing pass you by. Clothing can be your major asset in competing with other women. If you are afraid to read further because you have limited funds or a body that's not quite fit for fashion, don't worry. As you will see, you don't need thin thighs to marry the man of your choice. Dressing to attract men has nothing to do with fashion or size. It means using clothing to arouse a man's curiosity and his imagination about your body.

        Sexuality is primarily a state of mind. If you've ever visited a nudist camp, you know that the clothed body is more sensuous than the nude body. There's even a joke about a male nudist who, before leaving the office early one afternoon, calls up his wife and say, "Honey, I'm horn and coming home, so get dressed" Wearing no clothing at all leaves nothing to the imagination.

       Don't feel guity about using your appearance to attract men. You're not going to create a relationship under false pretenses. You'll be noticed by men, and will not scare them off. You'll increase your new relationships and a chance to prosper at love.   

YOU MAY BE IN LOVE MANY TIMES


            By Susan Browing Pogany

            The love relationship you're in today is probably not the love of your life. Studies show that most people have seven or eight romances before they marry. You need to ask yourself whether you think making love is truly special or something to do with almost any partner you like a lot.

             Love can be pure bliss one day and a disaster the next. One week you think your partner is perfect, and the next week you may be deeply disappointed and aware of their failings. You may go from admiring their every movement to being bugged by just about anything they do. In other words, your attraction can be intense and positive, but your feelings can change quickly.

            If you assume that feelings of intense attraction should naturally lead to sex, you may end up mistrusting your judgment.

            Many teenagers think that having premarital sex (sex before marriage) isn't a great idea, but they think they might do it anyway if they are passionately "swept away" - that out-of-control feeling when "fireworks explode, waves pound, knees buckle, two hearts beat as one...."

           All this sounds exciting, but having sex because you feel swept away is not the same real love, and it usually does not lead to real love. It can, however, lead to pregnancy, because birth control isn't carefully planned ahead of time.

            When teens later realize that their sex partner was not the perfect person they imagined, they may feel awful.

 

LOVE AND SEX

   
      By Susan Browing Pogany
    
      "Sex is not a three-letter word for love," "Love that is real is a developing emotion, slow and steady....[ it involves ] a willingness to invest time and effort in developing the potential of a relation- ship."

       A young man explains, "I thought that sleeping together would deepen our relationship. But we just didn't know each other well enough. It turned out we were too different. I was sorry, and I felt guilty."

       Twenty-three-year-old Kim recalls, "I was sixteen and a virgin when I started dating Brian. He was great looking, older, sophisticated. I thought about him every minute. I was completely in love. After a few weeks, we were having sex - in fact, we did it every time we had a chance to be together.

       "At first, I was so happy being with him, but then I got scared and upset. I was afraid he would leave me, and I felt kind of guilty. Here I was sleeping with this guy, and I was starting to figure out that he didn't feel about me like I did about him. I was so sure I love him, but I realize now that I didn't really know him. I didn't know then what it means to really know a guy. The truth is that, after a while, the biggest thing between us was sex.

       "One night when he brought me home, he said goodbye in this kind of heavy, serious way. I could just tell he meant it was all over. I was so scared, but couldn't, you know, talk to him about it. Can you believe it? We'd been intimate sexually all those weeks, and I still couldn't really have an intimate conversation with him about us.

      "For months, I felt awful and depressed. I listened to this suicidal music and stared into space for hours. I was completely confused about who I was and what I have done....

       "Then I met Allen. I was so desperate for affection or love or attachment that I started sleeping with him after a couple of weeks. I was exciting for a while, and I told myself I loved him, but I didn't really. I just need to fill loved. It didn't last long, and I ended up feeling even worse about myself.

       "I really wish I hadn't had sex so young. It made me feel bad about myself, and it made me feel like I made stupid decisions. I don't know if I've really gotten over feeling bad about me. I wish I'd waited till I was older." 

       "JJ" comments on the Internet, "If you can't wait, you don't know what love really is."

                               Sex Smart by Susan Browing Pogany



         

THE SWEETEST RELATIONSHIP

         
By Susan Browning Pogany
     
         A young woman wrote to an advice columnist, explaining that over time she had come to realize that adding sex to a relationship can cause pain. She said she lost her virginity as a teenager to a boy who then told her that he already had a girlfriend. In the fifteen years that followed, she had "dozens" of failed sexual relationships. She said she become wiser and now understands that moving too quickly to sex can result in "pain and loneliness." She describes her current romance as one that involves many hours of talking and laughing and no more than hand-holding. She describes it as "by far the sweetest relationship" she had ever known."

                                         Sex Smart by Susan Browning Pogány     

IS HE A PLAYER?


        He could be a huge flirt, or a massive fake. Take this quiz and find out for sure.

        By Devin Tomb

      
        Check the statements that sound most like him.

        * He loves to hug you hello.

        * He loves to hug every girl hello.

        * He writes the sweetest compliments to you via text or through a private DM on Twitter (but no public posts yet).

        * Once he uncovers something quirky about you, like your obsession with red Starbursts, he remembers it.

        * You find something to laugh about almost every time you're together.

        * He'll go MIA for weeks, but when you hear from him again, he's very apologetic.

        * He regularly posts funny YouTube videos on your Facebook timeline.

        * When you go to parties together, it sometimes feel like you're fighting for one-on-one time with him.

        * He's a last-minute planner and usually waits until the day of to ask if you're free.

        * When there's major drama at home, he wants to talk to you about it.

        * He's supper-fun when he asks you out, but he's rarely available when you ask him out.

        * When you text, there's a ton of flirty back-and-forth but less day-to-day stuff. 

        MostlMostly PINK

               He's a romantic! 


        you have nothing to worry about--this guy is into you!

        Check the good guy signs: post on your timeline, deep personal talks, or a giant bag of your favorite candy just because. Don't overly second guess his sweetness or he'll feel like you don't trust him.
               Mostly ORANGE
             He's a flirt!

        Your crush isn't shady; he's just outgoing! The next move is up to you: If you want to keep thing casual, you can't freak out every time another girl is at his locker. But to take things to the next level, he'll need a direct approach. Try something light like, "You and me...on a real date. Thoughts?"

             Mostly RED

             He's a player!

         This guy knows all the right things to say so that you--and every other girl--will be totally into him. Still think you're in his inner circle? Is he gushy in private but sort of cold in public? Does he heap on the attention and then disappear for two weeks?
     
          Don't play his game. Cut him loose ASAP.  

                                         By Devin Tomb  

FIFTY FUN, CHEAP DATE IDEAS


  It's not about having the fanciest date or the most expensive or elaborate one. Date nights work their magic simply by giving you a chance to catch up with each other and shut out the noise of your busy lives. Want romance that doesn't cost a fortune? Fight the urge to splurge with these 50 fun, cheap date ideas.

        by Lisa Sussman
          

          1. Dinner and Movie

          Try brunch and a matinee; fancy restaurant's  are way more affordable in the A.M.

          Angela Bell.

          2. Dinner and Movie

          During warmer months, many cities offer an alternative to sitting inside a stuffy movie theater with free outdoor screenings. Local libraries and museums also sometimes screen unexpected films, from to documentaries. Check schedules in your free city circular.

          Paul Bradley

          3. Dinner and a  Movie

          For dinner and a movie under $5, go to the local library and look over their video selection (some libraries work with other branches and let you preorder a specific title). Then go to the drive-thru at a local fast-food joint and get two meals to take home.

          4. Dinner and a Movie

          Catch up your favorite shows on Hulu.com while snuggling together with a bowl of popcorn.

          5. Dinner and a Movie

          Get take-out pizza and watch home videos of yourselves as kids, your own kids, or your parents. It's not the latest feature flick, but it is your family history and a cool stroll down memory lane.

          6. Romantic Dates

          Take a camera with you on your date. Keep on asking people to take your photo and make it a point to clock lips every time the camera clicks. On your next date, after getting the pictures developed, make a collage of your smooching day.

         7. Romantic Dates

         Turn your backyard or porch into a home spa for under $25: pick up a plastic kiddy pool and fill it with water and bubble bath. Pack every safe and available surface with tea lights and turn out the lights. Burn essential oil in a purpose-made burner or light some incense (citrus scents are high on  sizzle while keeping mosquitoes at bay). Play some soft background music. When you get out of the "Jacuzzi", wrap yourselves in towels warmed in the dryer. Then massage each other into a delightful daze with lavender-scented lotion ( drugstore brands are around $5).

        8. Romantic Dates

        Tell each other stories about your relationship - whether it was the first time you said "I love you," memories from the first date, or funny bloopers during you courtship. It will bring back the butterflies and give you perspective on how far you've come.

        9. Romantic Dates
       
        Make a scrapbook or inspiration board together. Use photos, ticket stubs, and memorabilia to celebrate all the thing you've done as a couple, or create a dual collage of your inspirations and aspirations.

        10. At-Home Dates

         Transform your bedroom into a getaway retreat by setting it up as a hotel room, complete with number on the door, mints on a freshly made bed (use crisp white cotton sheets), a huge stack of towels and a few fizzy bath tablets in the bathroom (for an instant Jacuzzi), nice stationery and a pen (for writing each other love notes), a bottle of something chilling in an ice bucket, and room service.

         Kay Blaschke

         11. At-Home Dates

         Play strip poker, shedding one item of clothing every time you lose. See if you can make it through more than just a few hands.

          12. At-Home Dates

         When it's gray and pouring outside, cozy up indoors. Make hot chocolate and read together on the couch. You'll bond white nesting, and won't even notice the blah weather.ok

          13. At-Home Dates

         Bake something. Whether it's chocolate chip cookies, banana bread, or cupcakes, it's fun (and cheap) to team up in the kitchen. Sample your concoction and then give the rest to coworkers or friends. (Brownie points if you let your other half take baking credit!)

         Nathan Jones

         14. Quickie Dates

         Bask together in the warmth of a new day. Wake him up early so you can snuggle under a blanket and watch the sun rise over the horizon together. Use this classic romantic moment to lean in close as if you are going to whisper something just for him in his ear. Instead, surprise him with this real little eye opener : Nibble his lobe and softly caress his skin with your hot breath.

        Andersen Ross

       
        15. Quickie Dates

         Make a phone date to talk for fifteen minutes. This is different from hitting the speed dial to remind him that you'll be late tonight or to pick up on the way home. Ink it into your calendar and make sure you are in a space where are no other distractions (screaming kids nosy coworkers, cheery checkout workers, and so on) so you can give each other your full attention.

         Lise Gagne

         16. Quickie Dates

         Multitask clearing out the fridge by packing up all the leftovers for a picnic. Add your best china and glassware, and then make a date to meet at your local park during your lunch hour.

         17. Quickie Dates

         Next time you're in busy public place a pack or mall, sit on bench for 15 minutes, holding hands and people-watching.

         
        18. Quickie Dates

         Write down all the nice thoughts you have about each other for a week, and then make a date to sit down with a glass of wine and read them aloud.

         
        19. Adventurous Dates
  
         Take a stroll through a house you'd (someday) love to own. Check out the real estate listings for weekend open houses so you don't have to deal with a hard sell from the agent.
Greg Nicholas

         20. Adventurous Dates

         Check out your local performance-art scene. The shows are rarely sold out, and you never know what bizarre spectacle you might be treated to - or asked to take part in. "My husband and I went to this show where we were told to throw cream pies at the actors. It was hilarious and, somehow, art!' laughs Anne, 45.
Lukas Pobuda

        21. Adventurous Dates

        See if there is a Renaissance Fair in your area. Enjoy the jugglers, jousts, tankards of ale, and turkey legs the size of your thigh. Challenge each other to talk in fake British accents the whole day.

        22. Adventurous Dates

        Explore a new neighborhood. walk around, window-shop, and check out the people who frequent the area. If you don't live in a city, take a drive through a nearby investigated town, or just try a different walking route through your own area. 

        23. Adventurous Dates

        Volunteer at a soup kitchen, ,homeless shelter, or nursing home. The experience of helping others will unite you and make you appreciate one another. Check out volunteermatch.orig to see what's available in your area.

         24. Adventurous Dates

         Take a new class together. Depending on where you live, free options can include meditation classes, gardening workshops, improve groups, language sessions, and a variety of fitness classes. Even if you don't end up sticking with it in the long run, first classes are almost always free, and it's 99 percent likely to be a cool experience. Site like skillshare.com and butterfly.com can help you find great ones in your area.

         25. Adventurous Dates

          Just once, try each other's favorite hobby. Bring him to your yoga class or show him how to knit, ask him to teach you play chess or guitar.

         26. Adventurous Dates

         Go dancing. Find a place that's reputed to have great music - whether it's a band, DJ, or great mix - and boogie the night (or at least an hour and a half) away. The activity will get your endorphins buzzing, and you'll laugh at each other's moves.

         27. Out door Dates

          Train together to compete in race. A little friendly rivalry can be good for your relationship You stimulate, energize, and spur each other on to do more and be more while working toward a common goal (to ensure that harmony reigns, always go at the slower person's pace) . How you work out together can also be a clue to how you are together as a couple because you need listen to, compromise with, and anticipate each other's need and abilities - and to stop without recrimination if one of you is driven to tears. The sweet payoff (besides getting fit): Getting sweaty with your partner give you both better understanding of each others bodies, not a bad thing for affter-workout workouts in the bedroom. 

          28. Out door Dates

           Go on bird-feeding expedition at a park with a lake. Take along stable bread or crackers for the ducks and a Thermos of homemade lemonade or iced tea (spiked) for the two of you. See if you can spot the pairs.

          29. Outdoor Dates

           Laugh like a five year-old and play at the play ground. See who can swing the highest.

          30. Outdoor Dates

           Ride bikes. If you don't own any, average rentals cost bout $15 per hour. Pedal your way around town, bring a picnic, or race to a destination. To find a rental shop in your area, go to bikerentusa.com

          31. Outdoor Dates

           Visit the zoo. For a typical entrance fee between $10 - 20, you can wander and watch the animals for hours. Bring snacks and drinks to avoid inflated concession prices once you're inside.

           32. Outdoor Dates

           Take hula hoops, bubble-blowers, or a kite to the park and play like kids.

           Kirby Hamilton

           33. Illuminating Dates

           If it take a little black dress (and a little red wine) to put you in the mood, get yourself on the invitation list of local art galleries. They usually serve completmentary wine and hors d'oeuvres.

           Michele Lugaresi

           34. Illuminating Dates

           Museums usually have one free night a week. (Many  also have a suggested entrance fee; read the fine print.)

          Ken Seet/Corbis

          35. Illuminating Dates

          Form your own private book club for two. Read the same book and spend the night at a local coffee shop discussing your thoughts.

          Anja Hild

          36. Illuminating Dates

          See if your liquor store host wine-tasting nights (it's only expensive if you buy). Cheers to if you pull off vino vocab like "full-bodied" or "supple" with a straight face.

         37. Illuminating Dates

         Experience a jazz club. Some don't have cover charge; others vary from $5 - 20, depending on location. Look for a local affordable one on allaboutjazz.com to enjoy an evening of low-key romantic music.

         38. Illuminating Dates

         Check with your local symphony, opera, and theater houses to see if they offer discounts on dress rehearsal performances or standing room tickets. "The San Francisco Ballet sells tickets. "The San Francisco Ballet sells tickets as low as $15 for standing room, "advises Jeanette Pavini, a consumer savings expert for Coupons.com.

         39. Illuminating Dates

         Check online - try cookingschools.com - to see if you live in the vicinity of a culinary school. "They often have amazing deals, "says Pavini. Sign up for one as a couple, and then try your newly acquired kitchen skills at home.

         40. Illuminating Dates

         Explore local college campus plays and musical recitals. "You can get great prices on these events, " recommends Pavini. Plus, you can pretend you're in college again and make out in the back row.
          Kristian Septimius Krogh

          41. Mini Getaways

          BED AND BREAKFAST : Check out smaller towns for affordable B&Bs.

          42. Mini Gateways

          CAMPING: State parks are usually a good deal and the nightlife is usually nothing wilder than a cricket concert. You can set up a tent, cook over an open fire, and gaze at the stars at night.

          43. Mini Getaways

          Let your friend and relatives (with clean, comfortable homes) know that you're willing and available to house-sit for them next time they're away, even if it's for a night and they only live a couple hours away. Extra points if you go from city to county or vice versa. The change of pace will refresh you both, and you'll return even more appreciative of each other and your home.

          Diane Macdonald

          44. Double Dates

          Dig out your favorite group board games and invite friend over for a night of fun. Jessica, 28, says because she and her husband don't have much money for a night on the town, they started picking up games at garage sales. "At first, just the two of us played. But we had friends over for dinner one night and discovered the fun of competing with other people. Sometimes it's very person on their own or else we play in teams; the girls against the guy or couples against couples, I think we have more fun than if we just went out somewhere on a regular date night, and it is certainly a lot cheaper. We all pitch in for a big pasta dinner and one of those big bottles of wine."

          Arthur Carlo Franco

          45. Double Dates

          Instead of a book club, start a music club. Every get-together, have participants bring a favorite CD to spin and talk about these tunes move them. Depending on the type of beat, everyone can then get down and start dancing, or, if it's more like background music, talking the night away.

         46. Double Dates

         Hit up bingo or Jeopardy night at a local bar or restaurant. The competition (or teamwork, depending on the game) gets everyone chatting, and you can split the bill for appetizers between four.

         47. Night on the Town

         Attend a comedy show. Most joints have amateur stand-up on weeknights where local comedians perform for free. Bond and relax on a date where the only agenda is laughter. Find a comedy venue nearby at coasttocoasttickets.com/comedy.

         48. Night on the Town

         See if any venues in your area, parks and cafes included, host free concerts or solo acts. At bars, the price of admission could be a beer, and if one outdoors you can bring a picnic.

PAULY'S GUIDE TO DATING

   
         PAULY D'S GUIDE TO DATING
            
           Q.  What about a woman first catches your eye ?
           
           A.   I like confidence, I can sense it - like in a girl who dresses well and dances well.

           Q.  Smushing on the first date : bad or good idea  ?
          
           A.   It depends. If you really wanna see what happens with you and the girl, you don't wanna smush on the first date. If you're gonna be with her, you want to do the right thing because she's a nice girl. It makes it more special to get to know her first.

           Q.  Which quality would you say makes a girl the rarest of roses ?
     
           A.  Most importantly, a sense of humor - she has to get my jokes.

           Q.  Is there one thing you look for in a girl ?
     
           A.  Yeah, the type of music she listens to. It tells you  everything you need to know about woman.

           Q.  What kind of sweet gestures do guys actually like ?
      
           A.  Something he wouldn't expect.  Like while he's at work, go have his car washed. It's nice and shows that she's thinking of him.

           Q.  What is the most important dating rule to follow ?
       
           A.   Put down your cell phone. Don't  be textting. Otherwise, he's going to wonder why you're not paying attention to him.

                                 

DATING

  By Rachel Bilson

              * If you want to take me home, first you have to take me out a few more times and make me laugh.

              * The most important part of a relationship is communication - and playing board games. 
   
              * The difference between liking someone and loving someone is that you cry more when you love someone.  
    
              * Selfishness is always a dealbreaker.


              * I'm not impressed by your bodily functions .

              * Average is nice, but bigger is better.

              * I wish more guys would take out the trash.

              * Being a real man means having hair on your chest.
              

              * I like my men like I like my ice cream :  complex and nutty.       



              * "
My favorite part of a man's body :  his teeth." 


 

8 WAY TO IMPRESS YOUR MAN

  
       It's not easy to think of ways to make your boyfriend feel special (flowers just aren't going to cut it). But a recent study from Florida State University found it's crucial to let him know you care in order keep your bond solid. Go with these  gestures - they'll let him know just how lucky you feel to be his girl.

           By Brittany Talarico

       1. Draw Him a Steamy Bath

       The next time he's super stressed, fill the tub with hot water and offer to hop in and massage his tense muscle. Skip the candles and bubbles - they're not dude-friendly - but set up some of his favorite slow jams to help him chill.

       2. Say "Thanks"

        A recent study found that acknowledging small acts of generosity strengthens your relationship. Reason enough to tell him you appreciate his fixing your PC, replacing light bulbs, killing spiders, and all the other tasks guys take on for us.


       3. Initiate a Surprise Smooch

       Next time you're sitting together close - say you're catching a rerun of the Office or he's showing you a funny viral video - plant one his cheek or forehead. An unexpected kiss will make him feel so desired and so close to you.

        4. Pack His Lunch

       Send him off to work with a brown bag containing his favorite sandwich, snack, and dessert. Add a sweet (or naughty ) note for him to discover when he takes his lunch break, and he'll feel like a king.

        5. Stock his Kitchen

       Before a big game, fill his fridge and pantry with beer, soda, microwavable pizza, and other man-friendly grub he can easily grab when he's glued to the screen.

        6. Give Him Man - Time

       Bro- bonding time is ridiculously important to guys, and not coming off as controlling or clingy whenever he wants to meet up with them will impress the hell out of him.... and maybe make him want to cut the night short to come back to you.

       7. Make a Spotify Play list

       Compile all his favorite tunes on one go-to play list, incorporating some 90s hits you know were on contestants repeat during his high school days. It'll show him that you get his taste...including his goofy nostalgic love for Mmmbop.

        8. Plan a Cool Outing

        Skip the dinner and a movie thing and surprise him with an adrenaline-pumping date, like a visit to a rock- climbing gym or amusement park. Guys love being active, and the rush he'll get will make him feel super close to you

"HE IMPRESSED ME WHEN....."


        There's a big difference between a dule you just date and a guy you want to hold onto. And sometimes, it comes down to the little things he does that make you smile.

        By Korin Miller

        "He lives 10 hours away. Before bed I told him I'd had a crappy day. Next morning he was at my door and said, "Hug?    -  Halee B.

        "Three days after my parents split up, he went with my mom to my little sis's game so she didn't have to go alone." - Asley C.

        "He made a nail polish rack for my out - of - control collection." - Christicatt

        "He made sure I took off my makeup before we went to sleep because he knows I regret it when I don't"   - Ashleyara

        "He ordered my favorite movie (Beauty and the Beast) and had it sent to my house signed "To: The Beauty, From : The Beast"  -  Carly A.

        " I was in the bank when it started to rain. He got out of the car and showed up at the door with my umbrella so I wouldn't get wet." Bnisbett

         " I came out of work and found this on my windshield." -Wanda V

         "When I moved, my boyfriend unpacked my clothes and organized them perfectly without me asking!"   -  Amanda M.

        "My shopping bags always end up tearing, so he surprised me with a cloth, reusable bag." - Nina G.

        "He bring my mom tea on Saturdays, just to be nice." Tomblin01

        " He had flowers and three dresses to choose from waiting for me after work before he surprised me with a dinner date.  - Kat R

        " He bought me a toothbrush the first night I unexpectedly stayed over and told me to let it stay for the next time." - Kayla M.

       " My boyfriend remembered the smell of my body butter and bought me the entire (expensive!) bath and body kit." Nicole M.


WHAT PRIMARILY CAUSED THE BREAKUP?


       (225 voters have answered this question)
    
  13% (30)  We grew in different directions over time.
       6% (14)   We loved each other, but did not like each other.
       1%  (4)    We discovered we lacked enough shared interests.
        10% (23) One of us was "two- timed" by the other.
       5% (13)    We attended different colleges and lost touch.
      16% (36)  A move caused an impossible long-distance romance.
       6% (14)   Our temperaments clashed causing incompatibility.
       11% (26) One or both sets of parents drove us apart.
       4% (10)   One was too sexually demanding on the other.
       2% (6)     Girl friend became pregnant and boy friend ran.
       1% (3)     Religious differences were a problem.
       20% (46) Another reason not listed here. 

TWENTY THINGS GIRLS WANT BOYS TO KNOW


                                         1. We love it when you cuddle with us.                                          2. A kiss on the cheek is a definite yes.                                          3. We want you to put your arm around us at the movies.                                          4.  We don't care if you're the strongest guy in the world                                          5. Size doesn't matter so don't tell us.                                          6. We don't always look our best, get over it.                                          7. We shouldn't have to plan everything.                                          8. We always to ready to talk, so call us.                                          9. We are not perfect so deal with it.                                         10. We love "surprises"                                         11. The little things you do mean the most                                         12. We're not always girly girls                                         13. We can like boy stuff two.                                         14. Cursing + Fighting doesn't impress us.                                         15. Don't be mean to us to get our attention.                                         16. Don't tell us which girls you think are fit, we don't care.                                         17. We can tell when you are not listening so listen up.                                         18. When we say we are cold, that our invitation to come closer,                                         19. Hugs mean more sometimes                                         20. We need your advices sometimes, don't be afraid to give it us.

TWENTY THINGS GUYS WANT GIRLS TO KNOW


        1. We're not as perverted as you think we all are.

        2. We like you to give us hugs and kisses sometimes too.

        3. Don't argue with us when we call you beautiful.

        4. Don't treat us like crap, what go around comes around.

        5. We know you are pretty that is one of the reasons why we're going out with you.

        6. Don't go into detail about your period, it scares us.

        7. If you have cramps and we ask you what's wrong, just tell us it's that time of the month and nothing more.

        8. If you really like us for us, you would let us think our mustache, beard or sideburns looked cool.

        9. We never shave our legs, so let over it.

        10. Never ask if you can put makeup on us, it's just wrong.

        11. Don't make bets with us, because one of your friend will tell us if you don't.

        12. When we tell that you're not fat, believe us.

        13. Just because you think you're always right, doesn't mean that you don't have to apologize when you do something "wrong".

        14. You expect us to say and do sweet things for you, but it would be nice if you did the same every one in a while, we like to.

        15. We can't always be spontaneous, so try and help us makes plan sometimes.

        16. Don't ask us to beat up another guy for you because you might get what you wish for.

        17. Never pretend like you are going to break up with us and laugh, when we believe you

        18. Always remember: the way to a guy's heart is through his stomach....and maybe...oh never mind.

        19. We always notice how funny it is after you rip out our heart, stick it down our throat and still want be friends.

        20. And last but not least: we know you're not always right but we'll pretend like you are anyway.

                             

 
Copyright © 2013 GUIDE TO DATING | Powered by Blogger