WHAT IS COMMITMENT?

     
        By Susan Browing Pogany

        What is meant by the word "commitment" when we speak of love? It mean a promise of love and caring for another person. It means a promise that you will consistently "be there" for your partner as the two of you live through a future of difficulties and uncertainties. It means your partner can trust your commitment, and you can trust theirs"

       when you are a teenager you are just not for a commitment like this, even though you may wish for it very much. Teens who think that having sex will result in a serious commitment may be sadly disappointed.

       Why aren't teenagers ready for such commitment? A big reason is that as a young person, you are still figuring out who you are. This is your time to experiment with different personalities and behaviors, seek friendships with different kinds of people, try out new ideas, goals, and loyalties. Slowly you will discover what you value, what you believe in, and what you hope to accomplish with your life. These discoveries become part of your self-identity. It's a long process and an important part of maturing.

       Until both you and your partner have a more definite self-identity, it isn't possible to form truly intimate, committed relationships. The reason for this is because the "self" that you and your partner are presenting to one another is changing too much from week to week, month to month.

      If you hold off on sex, you'll find that each new love relationship can be a health step in your search for self-identity. Both you and your partner can grow and learn from the experience. When the relationship breaks up, even though one or both of you may be very sad, both of you will have a clearer idea of what you're looking for in the next partner. You can think of each relationship as a practice or rehearsal for the one that follow as you continue your search over many years for the one relationship that will last.