By Margaret Kent
Now that you're dressing in a friendly manner, it's time to start
meeting men. Your ideal mate is scarcer than one in a hundred, and
probably closer to one in a thousand, so you need to meet many men to
find the man of your choice. You're ready to begin this initial step in
your manhunt.
TAKING THE INITIATIVE
The man you are seeking can be yours, but only if you take the
initiative. Unless you can find diamonds in the street and pearls in
your chowder, don't expect the man of your dreams to appear on your
doorstep without any effort on your part.
Assume for a moment that you're considering becoming a gold prospector.
You would formulate ideas as to what you need to carry out your mission:
basic equipment, personal effort and energy, and, of course, a location
where you're likely to find gold. No matter how ignorant you are about
prospecting, you certainly wouldn't expect to find gold nuggets in your
front yard, nor would you ever imagine that someone will ring your
doorbell and say, "I understand that you are seeking gold. Here, I've
brought you some."
Finding a mate is similar to panning for gold. Both take effort! Society
may have you convinced that there will be some magic moment in your
future when you'll meet and marry your ideal prince, all by chance! You
may believe that the only requirement on your part is patience, and that
you should sit back and wait. With this philosophy, all that will
happen to you is menopause and old age. Wake up! No man is going to
knock at your door and ask, "Does a nice girl live here? I'd like to
marry her."
Men have little courage when it comes to women. This explains why Jane,
who take the initiative, is married and you are daydreaming.
Begin with Eye Contact
One of the first steps in meeting a man is making eye contact. Eye
contact is crucial in showing a man that you find him worth meeting.
Still, while he may be very desirable, try not to state or gawk.
Keep on Smiling
Another first step in meeting a man is to smile. Your smile is
one of your most attractive attributes. Smiling is special, and part of
the whole process of saying hello. It's fun, it's easy to do, and, after
all, smile don't wear out. So keep smiling.
Have a Tourist Attitude
Have you ever noticed that it's easy to meet people when you
travel than it is when you're home? Acting like a tourist can help you
overcome shyness and meet more interesting men. I have a friend who's
travel buff. When she's away from home, she doesn't hesitate to approach
any man for directions, general conversation, or guidance. She can ask a
man for an explanation of his customs, his ideals, or his culture. When
she's a foreigner in a foreign land, she is not influenced by her
culture's illogical taboos.
She isn't questing for marriage during her travels, so she feels
at ease in her conversation. She treats every man as a book from which
she can extract a unique story. This technique works so well that she
meets incredibly desirable and available men -- men who seem
unapproachable to the women in that country.
At home, however, she was tongue-tired. She though about the ease
with which she initiated conversations aboard, and decided that if her
tourist personality loosened her tongue, she should be a "tourist" at
home. Now she carries a camera and tries to look "touristy", which give
her the license to approach anyone with any excuse. Men respond quite
positively to her initiative.
Saying Hello
The first thing you must do is say hello to every man where you
live, where you work, where you shop, where you conduct your business,
and where you go for recreation. Greet every man are reasonably sure is
not a danger to you.
Many women cannot easily approach a man and say, "You look like
an interesting person, and I would enjoy talking to you!" Society has
taught us not to approach men we might like. We are pressured to respect
social barriers and use "proper" channels to meet men, so we remain in
our own social circles, with little chance of meeting new men.
For some women, the most difficult phase of a relationship is
the beginning, the initial creation of interest. You need some courage
to create interest and initiate the contact. Go ahead--you can do it!
Most men will respond favorably to your friendliness and will start a
conversation or give you the chance to begin one. The key is as simple
as a smile and the word hello.
M
M
